Code Blue to Blue's Clues

I've been feeling really claustrophobic and closed in the past few weeks. Sure, we usually don't leave the house but we were going outside every day for at least an hour, usually more. I worked really hard on the yard and it was actually presentable for a short while. But now it's too hot to go outside and the yard has gone back to its neglected state. The kiddo doesn't do well in the heat and her sunscreen ends up in her eyes. Even if we could deal with the heat, she wants to come inside just a few minutes after we go out. I can't deal with the bugs either.

I'm compensating for feeling trapped by spending a lot of time online during the day. It started when I was looking for condos and townhouses. I found that I stayed up too late at night if I looked after the kiddo went to bed, plus I was so excited at the prospect of home ownership that I couldn't wait until the evening to look. I wasn't nearly as bored as I was before I started searching. Plus I felt like I was being productive. The kiddo wasn't happy with the amount of time I was spending on the computer but she seemed to understand at first. Now that the home search has failed, er, I mean been put on hold for now, I once again face boredom and find myself turning to the internet. The kiddo isn't dealing with it well now. She sits next to me on the couch, hugs and kisses me often in an attempt to get my attention. Otherwise she sits transfixed by the television since her mother in neglecting her. She doesn't play as much as she did when I only laid on the couch and did nothing all day. Go figure. I feel very trapped if I'm not online, but I also feel conflicted about it because I'm fulfilling my needs but not the kiddo's. I'm trying to justify it to myself by using the time researching financial matters, but I'm only kidding myself. I am determined to go to more playdates this summer. That should alleviate the our boredom and my guilt.